Are you feeling a little ‘stuck’ in life?
Do you feel like you have been chained to a way of life that you cannot escape from?
I have certainly felt that way before.
This is probably one of the most common problems that people face in life, where they feel ‘stuck’. They feel like they are unable to make the changes they want in life and live in a way that is true to their inner self.
When it comes to my own case, the first time I felt this way was, believe it or not, when I was in school. If there is one thing that I have been gifted with, it is my ability to observe my surroundings and connect the dots. In other words, I almost instinctively find patterns if and when they exist around me. I may need a spark every once in a while, but the fact is that I have observed this gift in me.
During high school, which is to say 9th-10th grade or so, I began to realize that the path I was going on was more or less futile. On the one hand, I was being shown a world of untold adventures, memories, wealth and more. This was the world of the rich and famous, which apparently had the world at their disposal and were able to do just about anything they wanted.
And then there was the ‘traditional’ path I was being told to follow … go to school, then college, then get a job and work away your entire life until you are too old and senile to do anything else … you’ll get your pot of gold when you get to the end of this journey by retiring rich; isn’t that so wonderful?
When I started to think about the path I was being told to follow, I began to ask myself, where are all the mansions, sports cars, private jets, traveling the world and what not?
Where is the gilded lifestyle that a lot of people are living?
Why am I being told to follow a road in life that will essentially cut off my chances at all of these, at least until my retirement and very likely beyond it as well?
Why should I follow a road designed to ship me off to mediocrity, where I will be living paycheck to paycheck for the next several decades of my life?
Where is the sanity in it all?
But sadly, I was too young at that time and had literally zero ideas about all of the options that were available to me when I grew up …
I spent a couple more years in limbo as a result of not being able to figure out how everything fit together. You could say that it would be at least another half a decade before I started to see the big picture.
It was only after this that I had one of those ‘aha’ moments in life, where everything finally started to make sense, including those things that were a haze at first.
Once this haze was finally lifted, I realized what I had been doing wrong and how I could free myself from this mental prison of mine.
One of the biggest reasons why I had started to feel unstuck in life was because of the rules I had created for myself.
What I mean by this is, is that I had been living under the notion that I was ‘supposed’ to be doing something, and had cut off all other options. In other words, I had been living under the false notion that the rules I had at the back of my mind was something I couldn’t and shouldn’t change no matter what. I never thought about the fact that these ‘rules’ were not set in stone and that I had the freedom to do as I please (within reason). Besides, the rules that I was ‘supposed’ to follow in life happened to be something that only I alone could understand and enforce; even if I violated them all, there was nobody to come and tell me that I was doing something very wrong in life. After all, they were rules rather than laws; you can’t enforce rules like you can enforce laws.
These are what is being referred to when you hear the term ‘rules’ of life. Although the fact is that there are no rules in life, it doesn’t stop people from trying to search for one or cling to that which they think are the ‘rules’. And this is where the problem actually begins … You see, when you have people stuck under the notion that they have to be following certain rules in life, they are going to inadvertently end up getting themselves stuck by paralyzing their own thinking, because, well, if the rules are already a given, why bother thinking about the alternatives?
What I just told you will very likely start to make you wonder about another thing in life, which is this …
“Does that mean that we have are always having the absolute freedom to do anything we want?”
Well, the answer is both a ‘Yes’ and a ‘No’.
In other words, while life does offer us the freedom to make a choice, it also puts a ‘restriction’ on the things that are possible. These restrictions may be anything from biological ones (like say, you don’t have wings to fly) or legal ones (where you must follow the law).
There are also some ‘hidden’ restrictions as well that often go unnoticed, such as age, where you can only do certain things by a certain age, be it due to legal restrictions (for example, you aren’t legally an ‘adult’ until you reach 18 years of age) or can’t have children until you finish puberty.
Also, you can only do the things possible within the bounds of science. It isn’t possible to do anything that isn’t in accordance with the laws of science. It may be possible for say, God, but we mortals have to operate within the realm of this limitation.
But beyond these few restrictions, yes, we can pretty much do whatever we want in life. And I do mean WHATEVER. That is the essence of ‘free will’, where you are literally ‘free’ to ‘will’ yourself to do whatever you want.
Now comes the most important part, so make sure to pay attention to this …
If you are having the feeling that you are ‘stuck’ in life, let me now explain to you how to become ‘unstuck’.
1.) Change your mindset
The very first thing that you need to understand is that the feeling of being ‘stuck’ has more to do with the mind than your actual situation. I don’t deny that your present circumstances have made your life uneasy.
It is however also important to understand that you have the power to actually change the situation in life, if you’re willing to make the choice and put in the work.
It may be rather hard to even believe this, but just do it. You’ll thank me later.
2.) Criticize all the ‘rules’ of life and acknowledge your free will
When I look at the world around me, I feel like people have simply gone crazy. It is as if they have completely lost their minds.
Everyone around seems to be busy following the ‘rules’ of life and completely ignorant of their own free will. You could say that we are living in a zombie apocalypse right now.
It’s time for you to stop being a zombie. You have free will and I ask you to use it, rather than living your life like a creature from the nether world.
So how do you reject the ‘rules’ that you have been following and embrace free will?
Understand that life has no rules whatsoever. Also, the rules that you are following aren’t your own, so why are you following them in the first place? Remember, these are rules and not laws; only laws are to be followed, not rules. Begin by critically examining any and all of the ‘rules’ that you have been following, and simultaneously eliminating the ones that don’t resonate with your inner being.
Next, acknowledge your free will. What I mean by this is that you need to understand that LITERALLY everything you do is a result of your own free will. You CHOOSE to do it, rather than being forced into doing it. Other than in the case of say, slavery, being a minor (less than 18 years of age), communism or something like that, there is absolutely nobody forcing you to do the things that you do in life. So, start realizing this fact and act accordingly.
What I said above applies for just about everything in life, but is especially true here.
You can only feel ‘stuck’ if you do the same thing repeatedly over an extended period. But if everything that you do is out of your own free will, you can quite literally CHOOSE to become unstuck, by NOT doing the things that make you feel ‘stuck’.
Is that making sense to you? If not, read it a few times and it will.
Now, read the points that follow, as they will help you to permanently become unstuck in life.
3.) Start noting down everything you do in your life
Doing this is important because it helps identify the things that you are doing, which are making you feel ‘stuck’. This is because what you do today is what you did yesterday and what you will do tomorrow.
Everybody in the world is pretty much working like clockwork, even if they don’t actually realize it. Habits are essentially automatic behaviors that determine everything that we do in our lives. Among them are both good and bad habits, which have become deeply ingrained into your mind.
Once you finally make a list of all that you do every day, look for ‘patterns’ in your behavior. Your ‘habits’ are essentially repetitive in nature most of the time, so you’ll probably find it very easy to figure out what they are already. Then again, you probably already know what they are.
4.) Start eliminating all the bad habits
Once you figure out all your bad habits, it’s time to start getting rid of them. This part is easier said than done though.
It is very difficult to eliminate bad habits in the world. That is something that nobody can disagree with. It is very hard for one to halt and reverse a lifetime of bad habits, and to embrace good ones. But still, that’s where the pot of gold is, so that’s what you will need to do.
Eliminating bad habits will require you to have them replaced with good ones, because habits don’t exist in a vacuum. On the contrary, they exist to fill up a hole in your life. If you want to replace bad habits, just figure out a suitable good habit and everything else is going to fall into place.
A very useful strategy that I have found to be useful happens to be something that I have discussed in detail in the next point.
5.) Figure out what your idealistic life is
This is the most difficult part in life for everyone.
Ask anyone what they want and they’ll tell you something vague like ‘happiness’ or ‘successes. Ask them to define it and it is very likely that they don’t have a clue.
Make a list of anything and everything that you truly want in life. After making this list, get started with [reverse engineering] the process. The reverse engineering part will take a bit of brainstorming, but you’ll get a clear blueprint as to the way you can reach your destination.
Figure out this part and you’ll be able to greatly accelerate the process of eliminating your bad habits. You simply cannot sustain your bad habits when you become passionate about something in life. So, figure out that which you are passionate about in life and start working on it.
6.) Stop complaining and start working
There is no better solution to all the problems in the world than to stop complaining, figuring out what you want …
… And to consistently and diligently put in the work.
This is the simplest formula to achieve success in the world, but it seems like people prefer overlooking simplicity in favor of complexity.
7.) be consistent and don’t stop
If you manage to do all that I have mentioned above, you will notice that you will slowly become ‘unstuck’ in life as time passes by.
Make sure to stay consistent in whatever you are doing for at least a month, because that’s the amount of time it takes for old habits to get erased and be replaced by new ones.
While it will certainly take time, it is not impossible.
So that’s about it.
The seven step process to finally becoming ‘unstuck’ in life.