Procrastination During Existentialism

 

During times of existential crisis, there are interesting behavioral issues that crop up from time to time.

One such behavioral issue is procrastination.

 

I am sure that you would have noticed this in your own life.

If you’ve ever dealt with this chaotic state, it’s quite common to put things off in order to better ‘figure things out’.

Then again, you might just be using it as an excuse, to procrastinate on something that you find a little too ‘icky’ to deal with.

 

Regardless of what the case may be, it’s important that you avoid procrastinating during this phase of your life.

While there is nothing wrong with putting effort to figure things out, it’s certainly irresponsible of you to use this as an excuse for procrastination.

If you can just sort out your priorities first and then get to work, you’ll do just fine.

 

The way you’ll need to go about this is to prioritize your daily routine and schedule over your existential crisis.

Make sure that you take care of your daily work first no matter what. Even if existential thoughts creep into your mind, keep focus on your everyday affairs until they are finished.

After you are through with your everyday affairs, feel free to spend all the time you want with, as I once put it, ‘connecting the dots’.

 

In all,

Quit procrastinating if you are going through an existential crisis.

While I can understand the situation you are in, you need to know that your life will still go on whether you are confused or not. And life in turn, leaves no room for daily activities to be ignored and neglected.

Let the existential crisis be for a while and take care of things that matter.

You can always go back to being confused after you are done with your work.

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Buddhism’s Wheel Of Suffering

 

I am a Hindu by birth but off lately, I have become very skeptical about religions.

It’s not that I don’t believe in God by any chance.

On the contrary, I am very much a believer of God. Also, when I say ‘believer’, I don’t imply that I think there is a God; I KNOW there is a God.

 

There was a time when I was a hardcore atheist, although I have a feeling that I didn’t go all the way to the other side. I think it was more like a spiritual rebellion, where I refused to believe in God as a way of seeking revenge because he didn’t ‘bless’ me enough.

As time passed by and I had some weird experiences in my life, I began to wonder if there was more to life than what we know of. This was when my search for the truth went from one religion and scripture to another.

I should add here that I had been doing this even before the creepy incidents, since I was a strong critic of organized religion for a very long time. It was shortly after this time that I came across near-death experiences (NDEs), which gave a clear understanding of the truth.

In fact, I’ve actually written two posts on the same topic:

1.) Wisdom And Directions From Beyond Death

2.) What Would Happen If You Directly Asked God For Directions?

 

During this long search for the truth, I came across Buddhism and it’s teachings. While I didn’t pay much attention to it, it certainly gave me an interesting spiritual perspective on things.

More recently, I came across a concept in Buddhism called the ‘wheel of suffering’. The Buddhists call it as ‘Samsara‘.

While the concept is rather too deep to explain, I’ll give you a rough idea about it.

Buddhism teaches us that life can be described by the concept of ‘Samsara’, which means,

“A suffering-laden cycle of life, death, and rebirth, without beginning or end.”

In other words, one’s life, be it spiritual or general, is full of troubles and suffering regardless of who we are.

 

While it may seem like a pessimistic view of life, the reality is something different.

It addresses a core issue that people constantly face.

In today’s world, we are deluded into thinking that we are supposed to be happy in life at all times. In addition to it, we are convinced that everyone else is happy and are having the time of their lives, while we are the only ones suffering.

The media adds fuel to the fire by promoting the same idea. This is evident in the movies and TV shows, which constantly focus on an individual’s happiness. The ads are no different, with every company on earth selling you a dream, using a model’s wide smile for marketing.

It’s especially problematic when we have a pessimistic attitude, where we don’t bother to see the good in life but always emphasize on the bad.

Unfortunately, most people fall for this fantasy and forget that suffering is a part of life. In addition to it, they begin to  think that they are somehow ‘unlucky’, ‘cursed’ or something along those lines.

 

There isn’t much more to be said here.

You needn’t be a masochist to accept this point of view. But if you are suffering, it doesn’t hurt to acknowledge that there is nothing to feel ashamed about.

The reason I shared this post was to show that life isn’t always about happiness and that suffering is a part of our existence.

It’s up to us to ensure that we deal with this appropriately, instead of playing the victim card and refusing to accept personal responsibility.

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How To Select Your Ideal Career In Life

 

NOTE: This post is mainly for people starting out with their careers and not those who have already ‘settled’ in life. However, you can still benefit from the general wisdom it imparts.

 

Leaving college and entering the corporate world is like a breath of fresh air.

It’s a time of amazing changes where we’ll be able to get our first jobs, earn our own money and have a glimpse of true financial independence.

 

At face value, it is certainly a rosy picture. After all, who doesn’t love money or financial independence, right?

Unfortunately, it’s not a bed of roses for most people.

As awesome as getting a job and making money sounds, it comes with a whole bunch of issues that need to be properly dealt with.

This is the time of your life where you’ll need to answer that one special question…

“What do you want to choose for your career?”

 

The hard part comes when we are told to choose a career, which we are expected to work in for the rest of our lives.

Do you know how insane that sounds?

We were barely able to manage our daily affairs until then. Now, we are being expected to choose something that we’ll do until the day we die?

It’s insane, isn’t it?

What makes this especially messy, is being required to answer this question at an age when our brains are still maturing. The brain doesn’t start maturing as per research until the age of 10 for women and 20 for men. Regardless of this fact, we are expected to make a life-changing decision about our career choice, at the age of around 16-18!

 

I have passed through this stage and it’s certainly a time of great chaos and confusion.

I was a clueless person at the age of 15-16+ regarding pretty much everything, so when I was asked about the career of my choice, I naturally didn’t have an idea.

On top of this, I had to deal with the brainwashing of my peers, teachers, relatives and so on to choose between two choices; a doctor or an engineer. While I don’t have any animosity towards these two courses, I wasn’t particularly fond of them.

I should go a bit further and clarify that much of the pressure was to take up software engineering, because that’s what everyone else does in India. It doesn’t matter if the people don’t have any interest it; they should choose it anyway, unless they want to end up in poverty. Yes, that’s how many of the ‘adults’ here make you choose engineering; with fearmongering about poverty!

I have discussed about this in much more detail, in an earlier article.

 

Now then, how are we to choose a career when we don’t know what we want or have the neurological maturity to do so?

I don’t have a single answer to this. Things worked out for me through circumstances and situations others may not go through.

However, I have observed one thing which gives enough direction to choose your career. The solution is in the problem itself.

When you are asked the question,

“What would you like to do for a career?”

The actual question you are being asked is,

“What would you like to do throughout your working years?”

…with the assumption that most people don’t change their careers midway.

In other words, you are being asked to pick something you’ll be stuck with for the rest of your life. With that as a benchmark, find out what you would want to do forever without getting bored and frustrated.

 

About the only thing I can’t help with is choosing the actual career path.

This is something that you’ll have to do by yourself as I have no idea what your interests and passions are.

However, this post will likely give you an interesting insight.

 

So if you happen to encounter this dilemma, just remember to choose something you’ll feel comfortable doing for the rest of your life.

Spend some time and think over it.

You’ll soon figure out what fires you up and gets you out of bed every morning.

 

GOOD LUCK!

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A Lesson I Learnt From Calvin & Hobbes

 

I am a huge fan of Calvin & Hobbes.

I have been reading the comic strip for possibly more than 10+ years now.

It’s about the life of a kid and his stuffed tiger, whom he imagines is real and alive. The cartoonist behind the strip is a guy named Bill Watterson.

 

The first time I came across the strip was through my uncle, who incidentally, was also a fan. I still remember the title of the first book I read, which was, ‘Yukon Ho! ’.

After I first read the comic strip, I was immediately hooked. What got me attracted to it was that it greatly reminded me of my own childhood, when life was pretty much carefree. Of course, it wasn’t that I was burdened at the age of around 14 when I found the comic, but I still had to worry about my upcoming board exams and later to find a good college and so on.

However, I was only reading the comic for leisure and never considered it to be of use in any other way.

 

But off lately, one piece of wisdom from the comic strip has stuck to me.

It is a quote which goes along the lines of,

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.”

When I first came across it, it didn’t make any sense. But after spending some time to think about it, I realized what it was trying to convey.

 

What the author meant by this statement was that the life we have is finite.

Due to this finite nature of life on this planet, there is an upper limit on the amount of things we can accomplish.

Therefore, wasteful activities, as abundant and various as they are, if given a chance, will eat up all of our waking hours and leave us with very little time to do the things that truly matter.

 

This observation by the author is especially significant considering how most people live their lives.

Too many people live their lives as if they will live forever. While that might be true from a spiritual point of view, the life that we have now is certainly limited.

Therefore, it’s important that one cuts back on the time-wasting activities in order to achieve anything in life.

 

In all,

You needn’t stop having fun or spend some time every now and then on leisure and nonsense.

But make sure that you spend a majority of your time doing the things that truly matter…

…unless you want to watch your whole life disappear right before your eyes.

 

 

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One Mission In Life That You Would Love To Take Up!

 

Viktor Frankl had explained that man needed a constant state of tension or in other words, to keep chasing a goal in life at all times.

He explained through his own personal experiences at the concentration camps, how one simply lost the will to stay alive as a result of not having a mission or a purpose to live for.

Also, I had already talked about a mission in life which all of us could and should take up, which was to get married and have children.

In addition to the above mission in life, I’ll let you in on another one which I’m sure you will love.

 

Want to know what this mission is?

It’s in fact something that you’ll probably approve of much more than starting a family. While I don’t exactly approve of it, this will most likely be the case.

The mission is simple.

Ready for it?

Here you go!!!

“Create a lifetime of financial freedom to such an extent, you don’t ever have to submit to employment again!”

In other words,

A LIFETIME OF FREEDOM FROM WAGE SLAVERY!

 

Isn’t this mission awesome?!

What could be better than that, with the exception of having a family and raising children?

Apart from family, I’m sure that this is one mission in life that all of us would love to have.

After all, who would want to be a wage slave until retirement?

Certainly not me. I’m sure that if people had the option to free themselves of wage slavery today, they would do it in a heartbeat! Most people actively hate their jobs and if they could swap it for more time with family and friends, they would happily do it.

…………………………………………

 

All of it sounds nice and good.

But how does one go about it?

 

I won’t explain everything to you here as they are topics unto themselves. Instead, I’ll give you the basic ideas behind this, which you can use as a starting point.

The solution has two parts to it:

1.) Stop Trading Time For Money

2.) Build Passive Income Streams

 

1.) Stop Trading Time For Money:

In simple language, it means that you’ll need to stop being an employee.

This is important as if you are working as an employee, what you are doing is trading time for money. The problem with this is that you are limited in the amount of time that you can trade. After all, you can’t work beyond 16-18 hours a day. Even if you did, you can only work for 24 hours before the lack of sleep kills you.

Also, you get paid once a month, usually with a fixed amount of money, both of which makes things even harder.

Ultimately, you’ll never be able to accumulate sufficient funds in the long run.

So what is the alternative?

The alternative is to start creating businesses. The advantage of starting a business is that you’ll can make money faster, since your time has now been decoupled from your finances.

In other words, you’ll need to begin trading value for money.

The amount of money you can make is only limited by the amount of value that you are offering; in other words, whether you sell a pen or a slice of real estate is upto you.

 

2.) Build Passive Income Streams:

This means that you’ll need to create systems that make money, even when you aren’t working. A good example of it are rental properties where the rent flows in month after month, whether you work or not.

This is especially important as you’ll never know when you may need to stop working. After all, you can’t work all your life.

There will come a time sooner or later, when you’ll have to stop working due to health issues or something else.

Therefore, it’s important that you have systems making you money if and when you are out of commission.

 

One last word of advice regarding these two suggestions is that you’ll not get any results immediately.

It’ll take a long time so if you are expecting instant results, you are out of luck. However, if you are ready to accept it and move ahead, financial freedom is yours for the taking!

Ultimately, all of the above is just a rough idea about how the whole concept works. You’ll need to start doing your own research to understand things better.

…………………………………………

 

In all,

This is one mission in life that I doubt anyone would refuse to take up.

If anything, people would be more than happy to embrace it.

Whether they follow through with it or not is a different story…

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The Importance Of Tying Up Loose Ends

 

Have you ever heard of that old expression, ‘tying up loose ends’?

Do you know what it means?

In the simplest of explanations, it means to finish incomplete tasks or to do some damage control before things go out of hand.

 

I can’t emphasize on how important this is and how it can affect you in unexpected ways.

Why is this important?

It is because having loose ends in life is like sitting on a time bomb; you have no idea when it is going to go off!

And when it does go off, you’ll be left in such a state of chaos that you won’t be able to fix things up. On top of that, your life keeps moving forward, bringing with it new challenges to take care of.

Can you imagine how all of this is going to affect you?

In other words, think of the situation like an avalanche of pending work, where one wrong turn of events can bury you alive.

 

Let me give you an example of loose ends.

When I was in my 12th grade, I never paid any real interest in my education. I pretty much goofed off and had the attitude of total apathy and carelessness. Naturally, this became apparent on my report card where I ended up getting terrible results.

When I say terrible, I do mean terrible. I got a very bad score due to my lack of effort in my exams. And to make things worse, I failed in two important subjects; Mathematics and Chemistry.

However, the good news was that I had passed the exam. The examination board required that I clear a certain number of subjects to be eligible to get a pass certificate, which I did. However, the two failed subjects became a black mark on my report card, as it had given the indication that I didn’t make it through.

Now, I could have left things as such and moved on towards my future aspirations. While I did begin working on my career, I didn’t want to leave these two failed exams behind. So, I applied for a supplementary examination, which I wrote the subsequent year.

I can’t say that I am proud of the effort I put for my supplementary examination (for example, I was playing Quake 4 the day before the exams) or the results I got. But I am proud that I didn’t leave those two loose ends waiting around and haunting my career until the end.

I didn’t know much at that age (I was 17+) to understand that our actions would have consequences. However, I did have a nagging feeling that I had to make things right or I’ll be in deep trouble in the future.

Surely enough, it wasn’t long before those two black marks became an issue whenever I had to show my performance; be it for academics or a job interview. Luckily, I have an additional marks card and pass certificate for those two subjects which help me to dodge these sticky situations.

 

So how do you tie up loose ends?

It is a bit more complicated than you would expect. It’s not something that can be done at a moment’s notice.

First, you’ll need to deal with the issue of locating those loose ends. It’s not like they are in plain sight that you can just grab them outright and begin straightening things out. On the contrary, the reality is that you’ll probably need to do some digging first before the repairs can start.

Therefore, you need to start by doing a little introspect into your past and see where you’ve gone wrong. This is going to be a painstaking process, as you’ll need to go through a whole lot of investigation.

Then again, a lot of these things are in plain sight, which you’ve never bothered to fix for one reason or another.

After you are done with identifying these loose ends, get busy fixing them as soon as you can. Don’t allow anything to remain pending as you’ll never know when it’s going to come back and haunt you.

 

While this isn’t something that deals with confusion about your future, it has everything to do with gaining mental clarity in life.

It’s only when you feel free of past headaches that you can get the peace of mind to deal with your problems.

On the other hand, if you don’t bother to take care of past issues, you’ll end up becoming far more confused, should the past come back and haunt you.

 

In all,

Make sure that in addition to planning out your life and working towards your future, you don’t neglect past issues.

More often than not, the past catches up with us one way or another when we least expect it.

Unless you want such a surprise waiting around the corner, start figuring out the loose ends in your life and begin tying them up.

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When Is The Right Time To Marry?

 

Off lately, my social circle has seen an increase in the number of marriages.

I keep getting news of new marriages with increasing frequency through gossips as well as social media updates.

For the record, most of my friend circle comprises of people in their mid 20s, which is the age that most Indians usually get married. While it might be a little too early for the rest of the world, it’s quite common for a conservative country like India.

 

When the first few marriage updates came to me, I didn’t know how to react.

It seems only yesterday that we were all students living our lives without a care in the world. With the exception of exams, all of our worries had been outsourced to our parents. In fact, we didn’t even know the real meaning of stress, worry, responsibility or anything else. Those things were alien concepts to most of us.

But alas, I slowly began to accept the changing times and understood that a whole new era had begun.

 

However, these recent events got me thinking about the concept of marriage.

While I am all for early marriages (meaning getting hitched by the mid 20s), I hadn’t given much thought to this in general. The closest I ever came to this was when my mom or some relatives wanted to talk about it.

When it came to the issue of my future wife, I didn’t even know where to begin. It was certainly fun to fantasize that I would marry my best friend of many years. But that’s exactly what it was, a fantasy; I was never serious about it. Of course, she later on got married and I wasn’t even sure if I wanted her to be my life partner, so that’s a whole different story unto itself.

 

What I’ve realized is that marriage is something that most of us get confused about, especially considering it’s permanent nature.

Besides, it’s not like you can get rid of your wife in an instant; i.e. unless you live in the west where getting rid of your spouse is as easy as changing your clothes.

After a long bout of pondering, I think I’ve come to a general idea regarding marriage and the person that I want to spend my life with.

…………………………………………

 

Now comes the million dollar question.

“When is the right time to marry?”

It is an often asked question by a lot of single people, who aren’t sure on where to begin.

As a result, they just go for it as one of the things most people do in life, without actually giving much thought to it.

 

So what’s the answer to this dilemma?

The answer to this is that there isn’t a definite answer.

Since our life is a free for all where we can do as we please, there isn’t any compulsion to get married at all, if you are wondering.

When it comes to the concept of marriage itself, it is a social institution created to ensure the survival of civilization. It serves as a stable and secure social institution for children to grow up in. Therefore, unless you are thinking of starting a family, there is no reason to get married at all.

 

Having said that, I still advocate marriage at an early age and I’m not against it as such.

However, there are several factors that should be considered before taking this life changing decision.

I’ll give you a list of reasons to consider before going in for marriage. While this isn’t exhaustive, it will give you a rough idea on how to approach the issue.

I’ll first let you in on the wrong reasons and then the right ones…

 

THE WRONG REASONS TO GET MARRIED

1.) Peer Pressure:

There will always be peer pressure for everything.

This may not be explicit in the sense that your peers are pressurizing you to get married. You might just pressurize yourself into getting married because you don’t want to be the ‘odd one out’ from the lot.

2.) Familial Pressure:

Families often pressurize you into get married, especially in the case of conservative households.

But just because they expect you to get married doesn’t mean that you should go for it. I’m not asking you to rebel against your family but understand that even you have a say in this decision.

3.) Societal Pressure:

Conservative societies often expect you to get married by a certain age. This may not always be in your best interest simply because you aren’t ready for marriage, for whatever reason.

My take on this is that while society is important, it doesn’t mean that you have to lose out on your individuality.

4.) Competition With Rivals:

There is always a competition going on with one’s rival regarding everything in life.

When it comes to marriage, know that just because someone you are competing with in life has got married doesn’t mean that you have to.

5.) Competition With Exes:

A compelling reason to get married is a case of love competition.

Just because your ex is getting married doesn’t mean that you have to.

6.) Infatuation & Lust:

Infatuation and lust wears off over time.

Make sure to remember that the person you are obsessed with, will probably lose their charm once the novelty and the animal inside you fades away.

Furthermore, the person you are infatuated with and lusting for, may not be compatible for you.

7.) Money:

If you marry for the sake of money, know that the relationship will last as long as the money exists.

If or when the money runs out, the marriage will also come to an end.

8.) Sex:

Marriage is not necessary to have sex.

Marriage is more than just about carnal pleasures.

For your information, this isn’t a recommendation or a green signal for reckless promiscuity. But if you get married for the sake of sex, you’ll just be married physically and not mentally or emotionally.

 

THE RIGHT REASONS TO GET MARRIED

1.) Legal Age To Marry:

This one is obvious.

You’ll need to be of the legal marriageable age to get married.

This age of course isn’t fixed and varies depending on jurisdiction. There are backward places on earth which even allow for child marriage, so moral issues certainly do exist here.

But in general, if you are around or above 18-21 years of age, you should do just fine. Most countries allow for people to legally get married at around this age.

2.) Financial Stability:

Marriage entails a whole lot of financial burdens.

Unless you are financially stable, you shouldn’t even think about marriage.

You don’t have to become a millionaire but you should be in a position to afford basic necessities.

3.) Emotional Stability:

Marriage isn’t all fun and games. It happens to be an emotional roller coaster ride.

You need to be psychologically ready to deal with the emotional mess, inherent in all marriages.

4.) A Sound Education:

Get a good education before you get married.

Doing it after marriage becomes difficult for a lot of people.

While it’s certainly possible to study after marriage, it’s a lot less stressful when you don’t have to worry about marital issues.

5,) It isn’t A Love Marriage:

Love marriages are garbage. You can read more about them in these two posts:

You can probably skip this step if you are living in the west. After all, arranged marriages only exist in conservative and traditional societies.

However, you could still emulate the system of arranged marriages and apply it in your own life. In simple terms, it means that you find someone who shares the same characteristics that you do. In addition to this, you rely on compromise and understanding to make the marriage work, instead of relying on ‘love’ to keep things running.

6.) There Is Sufficient Age Difference Between You And Your Spouse:

Age difference is an important issue that is often overlooked, mostly in the name of ‘love’.

While all sorts of weird age combinations exist, there are some ‘golden rules’ regarding age difference:

While I am skeptical of these rules, I am of the opinion that the girl should always be younger than the guy by a few years.

7.) Similar Characteristics:

I have discussed these things when I explained the issues with arranged marriages (See point #5).

However, I’ll explain it in brief here, in case you don’t want to go through those two posts. The person you marry should be of the same background that you are; lifestyle, interests, religion, language, community, race, ethnic group, financial standing, etc.

The reason for this is because most divorces occur due to differences of opinion regarding these things. While it’s not an effective way to rule out divorce, it certainly reduces the chance of the marriage falling apart.

8.) Readiness To Commit To Each Other:

There should be a readiness to commit to each other when getting married.

What I mean by this is that when you get married, you should forget about having adventures with other people. You are no longer single. The only person you should have adventures with should be your spouse.

If you think that you can’t keep your hands off others, first get that curiosity and urge out of your system. Go nuts and fool around for a while if it helps.

Just remember that marriage is about loyalty, not cheating on your spouse.

9.) Readiness To Compromise:

You’ll have to compromise a lot when you get married.

Unless you are able to be diplomatic in handling conflicts and compromise, don’t bother getting married.

10.) Readiness To Commit To Parenthood:

The main reason for people to get married is to become parents. In other words, there is no reason to get married if you don’t want to start a family.

So if you are getting married, know that it’s because you want to have kids.

You don’t have to become parents the first few years, if you desire some romantic time with your spouse. But do note that you shouldn’t put of parenthood. It’s the reason you got married in the first place.

11.) Biological Factors:

This has everything to do with fertility. While you can always wait to get married, know that your body isn’t exactly so patient.

This problem is especially of importance in the case of women, whose fertility begins to drop sometime in their early 30s.

On the other hand, it isn’t much of a problem for men when compared to women.

12.) You’ve Met The Right Person:

When I say ‘the right person’, I don’t imply soulmates.

Soulmates are a myth created by the media. I am merely implying here that you are happy and able to get along with the person you are about to marry.

Nobody is perfect but at the same time, there are plenty of people out there who are suitable partners, in the sense that you can get along with them fairly well.

 

Having said all of the above, you can check out the below link for some additional information if you are a guy.

How to pick the right wife.

Do note that the above link is mostly for western men and isn’t applicable everywhere. Here in India, for example, some of the tips given in the article are irrelevant.

…………………………………………

 

While the information here isn’t exhaustive, it does give you an interesting perspective on how to get started on your marital adventure.

Furthermore, it’s important to add that things don’t always go according to plan. This is especially true in the case of love and marriage, since the behavior of people is highly unstable and difficult to predict.

Therefore, in addition to keeping these points in mind, it’s also important to include your own personal judgements and guesswork.

Beyond this, all one can do is hope for the best, pray for some luck and leave everything to God.

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You Never Actually Change…You Become What You’ve Always Been

 

I have never been much of a believer when it comes to the concept of ‘destiny’.

Even now, I vehemently oppose the idea that our life has already been predetermined by things beyond our control.

But for a while now, I have had a realization that things aren’t always what they seem. While I still believe in the idea that we have the power to choose our lives, I think that there might just be a small element of destiny at play as well.

 

To begin with, I don’t imply by the word ‘destiny’ that our lives are a fixed story where there is no such thing as free will.

No, my idea of ‘destiny’ has nothing to do with superstitious voodoo nonsense. I still believe in free will and that our lives are pretty much ours to do with as we please.

I realized this when I began to take a casual look at my life and how I had changed over the years.

 

When I did this, what I realized is that I never truly changed beyond my habits and outlook on life.

In other words, I have the same set of hobbies, passions, interests, likes, dislikes, proclivities and so on that I did five, ten and even fifteen years ago!

These are things that I never actively bothered to work towards and focus on; on the contrary, I just did whatever I was instinctively attracted and drawn towards.

I’ll give you a more detailed explanation of what I mean. Here are a list of things that have never changed about me:

  • I am a perfectionist.
  • I am a bit more on the carefree and happy-go-lucky side.
  • I am a rebel.
  • I am an emotional person. [Problem fixed through free will.]
  • I am a night owl; in other words, my productivity is the highest during the night.
  • I am socially insensitive and often offensive [Problem fixed through free will.]
  • I don’t care about conforming to mainstream dogmas regarding politics, religion, etc.
  • I don’t care about social norms and taboos.
  • I forgive people too easily. [Problem fixed through free will.]
  • I get attached to people too quickly. [Problem fixed through free will.]
  • I hate being too social.
  • I hate schedules.
  • I hate monotony.
  • I hate rules.
  • I hate conformity.
  • I hate the herd mentality.
  • I hate pretentious sophistication.
  • I hate rigid dress codes.
  • I hate early bedtimes. [Problem fixed through free will.]
  • I hate waking up early. [Problem fixed through free will.]
  • I hate sunny days.
  • I have a hard time moving on. [Problem fixed through free will.]
  • I love to travel and be a wanderer.
  • I love cloudy days.
  • I love the rain.
  • I love misty or foggy mornings.
  • I procrastinate…a lot!
  • I love creativity.
  • I seek the approval of others. [Problem fixed through free will.]
  • I tend to become pessimistic too easily. [Problem fixed through free will.]
  • I tend to lean on the introversion side. [Problem fixed through free will.]
  • I tend to trust people too easily. [Problem fixed through free will.]
  • I value time being alone.
  • Well, you get the idea…

The thing is, I’ve not changed at all in terms of who I truly am; I’m still the same person I’ve always been.

Also, all of this is despite the changes that have taken place in my life regarding environment, friends, social circles, circumstances and so on. You can read more about this in another post, where I have explained my views on the whole ‘nature vs. nurture’ debate.

 

These observations have made me realize that while we certainly have free will, there exists a certain state of existence uniquely suited for us where we would feel the most comfortable in.

It might take some time to analyze and understand but if you search hard enough, you can find out the exact lifestyle that works for you. It may sound hard to believe but it’s true.

Furthermore, this has nothing to do with superstition. It has it’s basis in genetics, with each of us having a unique set of genes that sets us apart from everyone else. It isn’t destiny but something quite close to it.

 

So how do you figure out what is your ideal state of existence?

To do this, you’ll need to go back to your childhood to find out what hasn’t changed. Also, you’ll need to take a closer look at your own life and find out what your unique set of likes and dislikes are.

Be honest and make a list of the whole thing. If you do it right, you’ll figure out the exact kind of person that you were meant to be.

 

In all,

Understand that you are completely free to live the life you want. It’s entirely your choice and you can do with it as you please.

However, also know that there is a unique state of existence that you would feel most suited and at home in, due to your genetics.

If you can just live a life that is the most congruent to your genes, you’ll be able to boost your satisfaction in life to the highest level possible.

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How Do I Find My Place In Life?

 

There is an interesting dilemma that I’ve seen in some lost souls.

They have a mindset that makes them believe in a higher and more important purpose. At the same time however, they are unable to figure out what it is.

There is a big difference that you can observe between these people and those who are lost ‘in general’.

These people firmly believe in a higher purpose but at the same time are unable to figure out what it is. The ‘in general’ crowd on the other hand have no real aim in life and are just wondering how to pass time (as in their ‘lifetime’; not a few hours here and there).

 

I have gone through both the stages in life.

I started out being generally confused about what to do but things changed as time passed by. As I began to learn more about the world around me and began to connect the dots, I acquired what you can call ‘maturity’.

With this new-found ‘maturity’, I realized that there was more to life than just aimlessly wandering around. I began to BELIEVE that I had a far more important purpose in life than just while away time.

But finding this ‘purpose’ turned out to be harder than I expected. Having CONVINCED myself of a higher meaning, I went crazy trying to get an answer. I literally spent weeks trying to piece together everything and get something conclusive.

Alas, I never found it…

…Because what I realized was that one’s ‘place’ in life isn’t really something set in stone. It was arbitrary and vague to accurately pinpoint what it was.

 

In other words, it is such a stupid thing when you think about it.

I mean, really…

  • How in the world can you ‘find’ your place in life?
  • What is the ‘indication’ of your place in life?
  • What are the characteristics?
  • What defines the whole charade?
  • Who is the one setting the guidelines?
  • And who gave that someone the authority to do so?
  • And who is the one that authorized that authority?
  • Etc…

I think you get where I’m going here.

The fact is that people have it all mixed up. The truth, I believe, is that EVERYONE have a place in life. I find it offensive and stupid to think that we must live aimlessly for decades, only to have our story ended in the blink of an eye.

 

So how do you find your place in life?

SIMPLE.

YOU DEFINE & CREATE IT.

THAT’S IT.

It’s all upto you.

There isn’t any PARTICULAR place that you are supposed to be in life. But at the same time, that doesn’t mean that you have NO place in life.

This might come as a shocker as a lot of people have the delusion that our purpose is like a lost Mayan pyramid, hidden deep in the jungle. They believe that if they can just slash and burn through the underbrush long enough, they’ll finally ‘find their place’ in life.

The truth goes more along the lines of this…

The pyramid you are searching for doesn’t exist. You can burn down the whole jungle if you want to, but YOU WILL NOT FIND ANYTHING. The pyramid is just a MYTH and nothing more.

 

So if you really want to find your place in life…

Stop SEARCHING for it and start BUILDING it.

Find a suitable patch of jungle, burn it down and get started with building your own pyramid…

…Because that’s the only way you’ll ever ‘find your place’ in life.

 

GOOD LUCK! 🙂

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The Haze Will Last Forever…

 

Anyone who claims to be ‘lost’ and ‘confused’ will know what I’m talking about.

It is in fact, one of the main problems that these people face.

 

To explain this in the most simple terms…

You’ll see that there is a haze about your future that doesn’t seem to end.

In other words, it’s a general uncertainty about the future. You have no clue what’s going to happen next and it scares the hell out of you.

If you ever dwell on it, it’s going to leave you messed up real bad.

 

I certainly got messed up because of this. I experienced a very long bout of anxiety and stress when I first came out of college.

Everything that used to be crystal clear had just disappeared. My life had turned into a long road with haze in every direction.

This was especially shocking to me as I had never encountered it before nor did I know about it’s existence.

 

I’ve spent enough time trying to find out how to get rid of the haze. And what I’ve realized is that the haze will stay until we die.

There is no use trying to get rid of it. It’s better to just ignore it.

In other words, just consider it as normal and go about with your daily activities. There is no way of knowing the future so it’s better to just focus on the present.

 

Don’t get disheartened though. Because there is a way to COPE with it.

The truth is that the haze only bothers you when there is nothing else for you to focus on.

If you set goals in life and keep yourself preoccupied, the haze will bother you less. The haze will still exist but it’s psychological effect will greatly diminish.

 

In all, if you are wading through this haze trying to find clear ground, JUST FORGET IT! Your entire life is filled with haze just like everyone else’s.

Just ignore it and keep yourself preoccupied with your goals…

You will do fine.

 

GOOD LUCK! 🙂

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